My Beloved Dog, Goodbye.....
I still remember when you were first brought back to my home, you were just a little puppy, so cute and naughty....For the first night at my house, you were terrified and scared, probably that was the first time you were separated from your mama and your siblings, I held you in my embrace, to let you know that I would take care of you, you were sleeping very sound. Looking at you, I wasn't willing to fall asleep, I leaned against the wall, stroking you. I actually could hear you cry sometimes in the middle of the night, I know you missed your family.
After quite a few days, I believed you had adapted to the new environment, you started to walk around in the house, playing with the toys and so on. Besides that, you started giving me troubles that I had to clean up the place so many times. And then I never heard you cry anymore, I was very convinced that you considered yourself to be part of the family and us to be your family.
Very soon, you had become even "bigger", you were so hyperactive that I barely had the energy to deal with you. You were very intelligent, you knew how to play hide and seek very well, you knew how to "grab the food in the air", you knew many things that I never thought a dog would be capable of being that way...But you were too mischievous, you knew the troubles you had caused. We never really wanted to punish you because the pain you had physically was equal to the pain we had mentally in our heart, but we had to, so that you wouldn't make the same mistakes again.
One thing I always put myself on blame was my intention to let you go as all of the family members including me were very busy with studies and careers. I still remember that day, you were brought into the car, you looked at me, as if you wanted to tell me " Yeah, I am going out play for a while and later I'll be home", like a child telling parents... Although you couldn't say that or convey whatever you feel in words that I understood, but I could see it from your eyes. The moment when the car was driven off, I couldn't help crying...I heard from my friend that you were crying quite many times especially in the middle of the night, for the first few nights. But I knew that you could deal with that very easily, and get adapted to the new environment, your sister "Sporty" was there as well, you wouldn't feel lonely and you weren't alone at all as there were friends for you to play with in my friend's house...I knew that you were strong!
Sometimes when I had the free time, I would go to my friend's house to bring you out for a stroll. I strongly believed that you could recognize me, as you were jumping towards me when you saw me. When I had to go home, there was always some kinda bitter feelings got into me, I didn't wanna let you go, but I had to. I kissed you, kept stroking you, until I really passed over the chain to the Kakak. You barked at me as I was leaving. I felt terribly bad every time after a visit.
Over the years, I kept tracking your life, making sure that you were always in good terms. Walked to you when I was free, out for some strolls. Missing you at night, looking at the photos with you inside.
Until today, 2nd October 2007, I was informed that you got into a serious disease. You were infected by the bacteria brought by rats. If I would have arrived at the hospital earlier, at least I could see you moving a little bit, even just a little bit. But one minute before I arrived, you stopped breathing. I looked at you, your eyes still were opened, wide, looking at me, but you weren't moving at all, you weren't shaking your tail and barking at me like you used to everytime you saw me. I didn't dare to touch you, or stroke you, not because of being afraid to be infected by the bacteria, but I couldn't accept the fact that you were gone, forever....I was afraid it would make me feel worse or sadder knowing that I couldn't see you anymore after tonight. I stood aside, crying . I couldn't do anything else, all I ever did was crying silently.
Later, my friend's family was on the way to the hospital, doctor told me that you had to be packed, I went out, standing at the door, looking from outside, how they packed you! Again, I cried. In a minute, they arrived at hospital. The pack was opened under their request. All of them were crying, and I was too. This time I decided to touch you, your body was still warm, very warm, I couldn't believe that you were gone. I was crying non-stop, while stroking you so passionately like the first night I did to you. You were dead, gone forever. And you left me just like that, leaving me alone here, crying, grieving over your death, why did you do this to me? WHY???
I went home later, after a shower, I thought of you and I cried again. But very soon, I fell asleep. I woke up at 4 in the morning, decided to update my blog by adding a post about you...As the words were being typed, the tears were summoned and rolling down my cheek over and over again. Friends be trying to comfort me, and I thanked them but I really need some time, I can't persuade myself to assume that everything is alright with just so little time.
My beloved ex-dog, "Pretty", thank you for giving me the happiest moments, although there were times that you made me angry, of course for your mischief behaviours...Thank you very much, and forever I will put you here in my heart, never let anyone take it away from me, never let time efface anything about you!And forever I'll remember 2nd October 2007, I promise.
And I'm sorry, my "Pretty".........And I love you forever, R.I.P....
After quite a few days, I believed you had adapted to the new environment, you started to walk around in the house, playing with the toys and so on. Besides that, you started giving me troubles that I had to clean up the place so many times. And then I never heard you cry anymore, I was very convinced that you considered yourself to be part of the family and us to be your family.
Very soon, you had become even "bigger", you were so hyperactive that I barely had the energy to deal with you. You were very intelligent, you knew how to play hide and seek very well, you knew how to "grab the food in the air", you knew many things that I never thought a dog would be capable of being that way...But you were too mischievous, you knew the troubles you had caused. We never really wanted to punish you because the pain you had physically was equal to the pain we had mentally in our heart, but we had to, so that you wouldn't make the same mistakes again.
One thing I always put myself on blame was my intention to let you go as all of the family members including me were very busy with studies and careers. I still remember that day, you were brought into the car, you looked at me, as if you wanted to tell me " Yeah, I am going out play for a while and later I'll be home", like a child telling parents... Although you couldn't say that or convey whatever you feel in words that I understood, but I could see it from your eyes. The moment when the car was driven off, I couldn't help crying...I heard from my friend that you were crying quite many times especially in the middle of the night, for the first few nights. But I knew that you could deal with that very easily, and get adapted to the new environment, your sister "Sporty" was there as well, you wouldn't feel lonely and you weren't alone at all as there were friends for you to play with in my friend's house...I knew that you were strong!
Sometimes when I had the free time, I would go to my friend's house to bring you out for a stroll. I strongly believed that you could recognize me, as you were jumping towards me when you saw me. When I had to go home, there was always some kinda bitter feelings got into me, I didn't wanna let you go, but I had to. I kissed you, kept stroking you, until I really passed over the chain to the Kakak. You barked at me as I was leaving. I felt terribly bad every time after a visit.
Over the years, I kept tracking your life, making sure that you were always in good terms. Walked to you when I was free, out for some strolls. Missing you at night, looking at the photos with you inside.
Until today, 2nd October 2007, I was informed that you got into a serious disease. You were infected by the bacteria brought by rats. If I would have arrived at the hospital earlier, at least I could see you moving a little bit, even just a little bit. But one minute before I arrived, you stopped breathing. I looked at you, your eyes still were opened, wide, looking at me, but you weren't moving at all, you weren't shaking your tail and barking at me like you used to everytime you saw me. I didn't dare to touch you, or stroke you, not because of being afraid to be infected by the bacteria, but I couldn't accept the fact that you were gone, forever....I was afraid it would make me feel worse or sadder knowing that I couldn't see you anymore after tonight. I stood aside, crying . I couldn't do anything else, all I ever did was crying silently.
Later, my friend's family was on the way to the hospital, doctor told me that you had to be packed, I went out, standing at the door, looking from outside, how they packed you! Again, I cried. In a minute, they arrived at hospital. The pack was opened under their request. All of them were crying, and I was too. This time I decided to touch you, your body was still warm, very warm, I couldn't believe that you were gone. I was crying non-stop, while stroking you so passionately like the first night I did to you. You were dead, gone forever. And you left me just like that, leaving me alone here, crying, grieving over your death, why did you do this to me? WHY???
I went home later, after a shower, I thought of you and I cried again. But very soon, I fell asleep. I woke up at 4 in the morning, decided to update my blog by adding a post about you...As the words were being typed, the tears were summoned and rolling down my cheek over and over again. Friends be trying to comfort me, and I thanked them but I really need some time, I can't persuade myself to assume that everything is alright with just so little time.
My beloved ex-dog, "Pretty", thank you for giving me the happiest moments, although there were times that you made me angry, of course for your mischief behaviours...Thank you very much, and forever I will put you here in my heart, never let anyone take it away from me, never let time efface anything about you!And forever I'll remember 2nd October 2007, I promise.
And I'm sorry, my "Pretty".........And I love you forever, R.I.P....
posted by devil at 4:00 AM
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