wow,is it a dream??

Oh,my god!!!God bless ya!!SPM is over already,it's OVER?!!!!Well,am I in a dream??Well,there's one more paper on 5th december 2005,and that's an easy one,because all I have to do is to "S-H-O-O-T" whenever I dont know the answer as there are only four options which are A,B,C or D...Dont know,just shoot,I dont wanna study no more liao....Because it's so sufferin'.....

How sufferin' during SPM???The night before that,I found it hard to fall asleep...I think it was just because I was so nervous that the butterflies were in my stomach....Well,so I smsed my teachers...Some teachers were so good that they were awakened by my sms and they did not even hesitate to reply my smses....Well,soon after that,I aint that nervous no more,because of the teachers who gave me a lot of support,I ma here thank them for that...

Next morning,oh,damn!It was BM,a subject which I dont really like and am super weak at it.....So,obviously,BM paper suckzz....Another subject which I find it boring,SEJARAH...Why was I so unlucky that my all confidence had to be gone on the first day?It really got me breakin' down!!!Well,luckily,the second day was BI!!One of my favourite subjects,I wouldnt be so confident that i will score A for that,all i have to do is "H-O-P-E"...But it aint just all that fortunate, as SEJARAH paper2 was right after BI,oh,god-damned SEJARAH...The questions aint meant for normal human beings,but for those extraordinary human beings,Lol....You cant blame me for sayin' that,because it was really so damn difficult....On Wednesday,it was time for MATHS papers.....Well,I was really sad about it,and I hate myself for making a really really stupid mistake that probably would lead 12 marks to 0 marks..Hope that there is ECF(error carried forward)...But I dont know if it even exists....Lol...After maths papers,I was given a short break of 4 days.....

During the break,I didnt think that I did some beneficial things like studyin' or whatever..I think I wasted all 3 days by doin' nothin' and playin' my ps2...The night before COMMERCE paper,I only had my revisions begun....It was a sufferin' too,because I could barely have a sufficient time to sleep,i studied until 6.00am and then I slept for 30 minutes.Woke up at 6.30am then started gettin' myself prepared for the commerce papers...Well,I dont know if it was really hard or easy....I cross my fingers that what I wrote was right,or else....Well,I wouldnt imagine it!!!I got home,and then slept for 3 hours then had to force myself to wake up because next papers are SCIENCE and MORAL....Another sufferin' too, I studied until 4.30am and I planned to take a short nap,I set the alarm at 5.30am,but damn it because I off the alarm and I fell asleep again,holy crap!!!I woke up automatically at 6.30am...And there was no time for me to study anythin' no more....Holy shit too!Outta 48 hours,I only used 5 hours and 30 minutes to sleep...42hours and 30 minutes were all spent of the papers and revisions....Well,as a conclusion,I would say that moral was ok but science was hard...That's all I can say....

There came another break of 5 days.....I wasted 3 days on my ps2...And then saturday and sunday,I forced myself to study like hell!!Oh,my god!!I ma gonna get crazy by that time....ECONS!!!Damn it,I barely knew about form 5 syllabus...I was too occupied with my jobs in my school and I always entered the class so late,I doubt if there was time to listen to what teachers been teachin'.....I coudnt waste my time talkin' lots of craps...I gotta study everythin' within a night....I think if I got A for econs,I would call myself the most intelligent people because I had to re-study whole form5 syllabus within hours since I knew nothin' about it..And at first I really doubted if I could squeeze everythin' and every word into my brain...Well,it was strange this time,because normally I couldnt finish everything in time...And I always stopped and thought for a long time of what the facts were...This time,it flowed so smoothly that I never stopped to think for a long time,and I even could have the time to do an extra question when other students were sufferin' from lackin' of time or insufficient time to finish everythin' in 2 hours....Accounts,this year..The questions were quite unexpected,I did 6 questions,though..I wouldnt say that what I've written were all right,because I am HUMBLE!!(crap,that's a lie,because people say I am LANSI...Lol)..But one thing I dont get is why they didnt have enough time to finish ever question for account,I still had 40 minutes ++ after I finished 6 questions...

That's all for today's bloggin' and that's my life durin' SPM!!

SPM!!!

Everybody here get it outta control,put your back off the wall,because Mr.Destiny's devil says so...hahahaha.....Hey,all F5,ie. SPM candidates.....You'd better be ready...Because we have to fight the war from tomorrow onwards for almost 20 days.......You gotta get yourself armed with millions of words that you might have seen,or even better if memorized....But I strongly doubt....Lol.....Dont worry anymore,just get it done in a blink of eye and everything will finish....How nice to say "ah,It's OVER!!"....I'd be pleased to hear it from anyone's mouth or even my mouth too.....so,F5....let's go!!!ALL THE BEST!!!

sun comes out again after all the rain......

Who on earth never had any questions about why their lives are sad and miserable?Who on earth never had any doubts in their lives?Who on earth had never looked bad for their lives?who on earth had never suffered from isolations,alienations,or "lonely-nations"(being or feeling lonely,well,you'll never see such word in dictionary,though)?I bet with my life that everyone had....Okay,let's look into it much deeper......Well,there might be too many questions in our lives,but I'm sure there aint only one solution.....If you choose to remain trapped in the sadness,well,I'm sure that you will never have a chance to find the solutions,remember that God doesnt show us where the solutions are,It just guides us along the way to find solutions...How you gon' move on if you never take yourself out from the sadness?Loneliness,is a very common sickness that most people can never avoid it...You might have thought of the reasons why you are lonely or why nobody likes you...But,never ever change yourself for someone....Be someone that you want,or you are,or you're happy to be and not be someone that people want,or you aint,or you are unhappy to be...You will end up sufferin' from loneliness,because you've been abandoned by you,yourself.....So,never abandon yourself..If people dont like the way you are,just leave..There are billions and billions people in the world,there surely are some people who can get along with you and accept you for who you really are....Me,myself and I strongly stress on this...Next,about happiness and sadness...Without sadness,would you ever know how happiness feels like?Without happiness,would you ever know how sadness feels like?It's just damn meaningless to be only happy without feelin' sad in our whole lives and so is to be sad without feelin' happy....Dont kill your smiles,because you'll never know who be fallin' for your smiles...Yet,dont kill your tears,because you'll never know who be wantin' to protect you.....Time is the ever best remedy to heal all sorrows...It might takes time to heal,though....Lastly,LOVE!What does love actually mean?And what's your definition?For me,love is everythin'....Never think that love only exists between different genders...Because there are also love for family,love for friends,and love for everythin' in this world....There are people who find it hard to say this word "love",especially to the same gender...It might sound or feel so gay-ish and embarrasing.....Well,I was one of those people but now no more...I love everyone that appears in my life.....I love my mama,my papa,my siblings,my best friends,my god brotha,my so-called brotha because they are all very damn important in my life....Well,I dont have a girlfriend yet,if so,I will also love her....Lol...Never ever hide your feelings because you feel weird or shy.....Love is not a thing to be ashamed of but to be proud of....Tell them if you really love them,no matter for who they are, or for how important they are to you....I strongly agree with this phrase "tomrorow can be too late".....Tell them before it's too late..."If we all stand together this one time,and no one will get left behind,stand up for life,stand up and hear me sing,stand up for love"....Be inspired and hopeful "each and everyday of your life",put an end to hopelessness of givin' up,of sufferin'....And you'll see the sun comes out again after all the rain....

me and my assistants for the prefects' magzine in my school.... 

poem-how many?

HOW MANY?

How many people on earth could cry their tears?
Even though they just cant overcome all their fears;
How many people on earth could hide their ears?
Even though the hearsays are far away from here.

How many people on earth have learnt to scream?
Whenever they just find it hard to blow off steam;
How many people on earth have tried to dream?
Whenever they know that their dreams can never gleam.

How many people on earth would stand the pain?
As all the disasters will just come to them again;
How many people on earth would look for rain?
As there are all just heartaches that they are to obtain.

How many people on earth are just to blame?
For they even throw their prides away just for fame;
How many people on earth are just the same?
For they even pollute their names with their shame.

How many people on earth should come with light?
That puts an end to hopelessness and shines bright;
How many people on earth should come with fight?
That kills disappointment and brings no more plight.

Well,should it to be continued?Or should it just end like this?I dont really know....Lol...I hope u guys will gimme some opinions about this....And the title of poem is "How Many?"...It somehow sounds weird....But I really have no ideas about what title should I give....And I would like to hear some comments too.....Lol....Hahaha....

Hmmmm...I wrote this poem on my own....It aint by anyone else......Lol...Hahahaha...

poor me

What the hell???Today I went back to school to get my school magazine.....And it really disappointed me.....All the poems i submitted to school magazine,have all become rejections....They didnt publish any of my poems,not even one.....Ohh,is it because I'm not from those best classes then they will never publish my poems in the school magazine?What is this?It really suckzz....And my poems aint really that bad!!!!Well,the school is just too evil.....I hate this school!!!!!Thanks to those who were willin' to be such great listeners to share my sadness like Raynor,Ji Wen,Tet Chuan,and Mun Kiat...I luv y' all so much...Muackzz....Well,I wouldnt be that stupid or foolish to let myself be so sad for what the idiot school has done to me...So,I went to Mid Valley to make myself happy....Well,since my best fren,Kar Chin's birthday falls on 15 November 2005,I have bought her a birthday card......Dont ask me if that's the only thing for her 2005 birthday...Well,since she and I will be havin' SPM soon,so,we aint gonna make her a birthday celebration on her actual birthday....Well,that's too much for a secret.....All my plannings will be a secret until I have implemented them....Wahahahaha.......I just wont let the kitten outta the bag....Well,I'm the type like Raynor said,that get angry all of a sudden,even if there's no reason to and me,myself and I know that I'm the type that easily "eating vinegar"(means jealous).....So,I complained to them about what the school has done to me,then they tried their hardest to comfort me,hahahaha....They never really expected that I would "t-w-i-s-t" the words from their mouths into some teasings,so that I can get angry and to eat my vinegar...Sorry ah,Mun Kiat...Maybe I act like a child,but I dont care what people think about me,because I am me,myself and I...Lol....And I know y' all will just accept me for who I am,right?Once again,thanks for that......Hey,SPM le...Just 4 days left le,I cant wait to get it done in just a blink of eye!!!!Hahahaha...And then I can have my time to relax my mind for I have been studyin' for years non-stop-ly and never gave my mind any time to rest....Hahahahaha.....Today was a challengin' day,though!!!

cool.....

Hmmmm,why is it a cool day?I also dont really know....But,well,today not a sad day,that's for sure!!So,no more complainin'!!Some of my friends said that my blog is a thing for me to post all my complaints.....But too bad that there wont be any complaints tonight....Ohh,this is specially dedicated to Ji Wen since he's the one who said that..Hahahaha...Supposedly,today's an angry day.....My brotha,raynor did somethin' that would obviously make me angry,but he didnt dare to say what he did...I asked him to tell me what he did,he agreed but with a condition that I cant get angry for what he did.....Well,I promised him that I wouldnt get angry,so i wouldnt break the promise!!Well,I shall praise him for breakin' the record that he didnt make me angry for this whole day...Lol...And I think he's a bit "out of order" tonight!!!he just cant stop callin' me "MASTER",I asked him why,he said to me "Because you're my master,and I'm your minion"...I was like gettin' so crazy that I couldnt calm myself down as he was "out of order"..Hahahaha...Soon after that,he was back to normal...Hahahaha...Besides that,my god brotha, Mun Kiat,I also didnt know what happened to him....Because normally when he comes online,he wont be the first to say "hihi" to me,I usually be the first to say "alo" to him,then only he replies.....He usually waits for me to do so or he wont chat with me,but tonight he took the initiative to say "hihi" to me...Quite happy la...Lol...And about the god-damned history...I thought I couldnt remember a thing about it,but just now talking to my best friend,Kar Chin on the phone,the HISTORY suddenly came from nowhere to our minds,so we made a lil discussions about history,quite surprisin' that I could remember somethin' about it....I found back the confidence that I have lost in history and successfully regained it....There are just 5 more days left for my spm to come,and my heart beat a lot faster than usual whenever the word "SPM" is called to my mind..It just springs to my mind outta nowhere.....Kinda nervous...Hope that I will pass my SPM with flyin' colour....Will y' all gimme your supports?Lol...Today goes by with a happy endin' and tomorrow will be a new chapter for "each and everyday of my life"...Hahahaha...

haih....

Nothing but sadness happened today......I was tryin' my hardest to study my god-damned HISTORY!!But it's just like nothin' could ever brain me into it......I could remember nothin' about what I've studied......guess I'm gonna screw my history up....But well,I will never give up until my last breath,I will try my best to work it out.....Since there are still 6 days more to go.....And then got somebody made me sadder,one of my classmates,I asked her for history tips as I'm desperately in need.....I don't really wanna screw my history up...Ya,she did wanna gimme,but then i begged her to type in microsoft words so that it will be much clearer and much more vivid...Well,she refused to do that...So,I also won't get myself to beg her again,I totally got myself out from asking her for tips,I'd rather to depend on my own if I've gotten to beg some fella more than once....That made me realize somethin' though,people will cross the line if they have gotten somethin' good that some other people need or want...They will think that they are very big with somethin' useful on their hands....Haihzzz...Maybe this is what we used to call "realistic" gua....How sad life is??Well,gotta strive harder then....No choice...Lol...I will remember those who have given me a lot of supports,concerns,tolerance,encouragement and help in my heart always....I luv y' all forever and ever.....Muackzzz....Lol...Hahaha...

hmmmmm.....weird dream...

Hmmm.....Something might have happened today but it didnt cuz I have spent half of the day sleeping...I woke up at 4pm++...I was thinking of what would ever happen during my sleep,if I woke up earlier than that?lLol.....Yesterday,my brotha made me so moody and sad....that's why I slept for so long...from 10pm to 4pm...Between the duration,he did sms me,and I was half asleep and half awoke,replying his smses....lol....I didnt actually know what i wrote in those smses.....I made weird dream anyway,I didnt know what exactly happened in that dream,all that I remember is I saw some of my frenz like kar chin,mei seen,and so on.Besides that,I remember that there were three dogs,I think they wanted to bite me,but they didnt, maybe they didn't dare gua....Lol...Ohh,i thought i could see how my dear brotha,raynor looked like,but too bad,it's true that he did appear in my dream,but it was just a call from him,talking to him,and then I didnt know what happened later,he again made me angry,lol....Wonder why he still likes to make me angry all the times,even in my sleep or in my dreams!Lol...What a funny and weird dream...By the way,ohh,my god!!!!Only a week left la....7 days only,then my spm comes liao....Oh,god!!!Oh help me!!!Oh,god,gimme the strength...Lol.....Gotta work hard like hell in these 7 precious days, or else.....Oops,I couldnt really imagine that....That's all for today and the day is almost gone by...Hahaha....

boring day....

hmmmm.....i dont really know why i would create a blog le.....well,it is already created,so dont waste it.....i will maximize the use of this blog.....lol.....today wokep up at 11am++....and i found myself alone at home.....and i've got nothing to do....guess it surely is a boring day.....so,i went to online,and then my brotha,raynor made me so angry,he kept on asking me what did he do,i didnt wanna tell him,i asked him to ask himself about what he did that made me angry.....he said he couldnt find the answer!that made me angrier.....argh....i guess that's how today goes by.....hmmm,spm is just around the corner!!oh,my god!!only left 8 days....i'm having butterflies in my stomach.....oh,god!!!really scared la!!