hmmm?

seems like just yesterday I were just startin' to work in happy dragon inn(the chinese restaurant in england that i'm currently workin' at...),but it has already been 4 months and 2 weeks,never thought i have been workin' for almost 5 months,and it is soon the time for me to go home to malaysia....dont know if i will feel so unwillin' to go home by that time?

i have submitted everythin' includin' the deposit to the holborn college that i am goin' to study in either october 2006 or march 2007,just depends on the visa application,and that gotta depend on the home office,see if they will approve my application or fail it.....but i really hope that my request will be approved...

well,within this 4 months++,i really have learnt a lot....the society has really no mercy,ya gotta strive to survive or else ya will end up sufferin' from neverendin' stress.....besides knowin' this cruel truth,i also learnt that there's nothin' to rely on if ya wanna succeed in ya life,only one thin' ya can count on is 'yaself' includin' ya spirit and ya dreams...

the other thin' that kept me goin' is all my close frenz......they really were givin' me lotsa support i have never dreamt to get in uk....Mun kiat,my full-time brotha and my part-time boyfren as well,if ya readin' this,i really wanna thank ya a lot cuz without ya i never really could survive anymore......whenever i am lost,i always tryna remember ya,so that i would have gotten the strength i need eventhough ya not here with me.....really thanks lot....Dave,my only britain fren in uk,although we never met each other before but i know we can really be great frenz and we might just meet up someday like we promised,he's two years younger than me,but he's really lovely...i'm really happy to know ya,i barely know no one in this country,and ya the one givin' me lotsa time to spend with ya eventhough that's just sms or on t-n....haha...lil stuart,the only latino in america that i know on t-n as well,he's really lovely and cute....and open as well...haha...next,lackoo,who i used to call 'big brotha',although nowadays i dont chat with ya much,but i still always miss ya,but i just barely have free time to be in front of computer all the times since my holidays were all used up,now my daily life is just workin',sleepin',workin' sleepin'...hope ya will understand my circumstances over here..hehe..and lastly,mais!!the cool guy on t-n that i dont know what to call him since 'big brotha' is already taken by lackoo....he's really cool and i remember he's just one year older than me,he's a norwegian anyway....i really love y' all so much!!!and the most important thin',T-N,because of ya,i got to know the ppl i never dreamt i would even in future...really thank ya a lot....

for others i didnt mention,do take it personally,y' all know i always luv y' all,but i really dont have much time since this computer is not mine,and my fren is gotta use it soon,so bye and take care till i publish the next post...

the day of ravidran's death!!!

Long time never been updatin' my blog......And there is one thing pushin' me to update my blog which is the death of mr ravidran,although I hate him so much,I never dreamt of hearin' the news like 'he's killed!!',or 'he's dead!!!' or anythin'.....And i never take death as a joke,this is kinda disrespect!!!

It was midnight,I had called it a day since I was off from the work....And all in my mind was 'Tomorrow I'm on leave,should stay up a bit late today!time to get to callin' someone I would like to!!!'..The first one popped up in my mind was my 'Boyfriend',but it was kinda early in msia,supposedly about 8am....He wouldnt have been awake since it was a lovely sunday over there as he didnt have to go to school to face all those unnecessary stress and tension that he shouldnt have been facin' like he used to,so I gave up on that.....And the next pop-up was Kok Cheng,I decided to call him because it had been a long time i never really got contacted with him.....Wonder if he was dead yet?haha...

So,when I gave him a call,and the first thin' i ever heard from him was 'Eh,got the news?ravidran is dead!!!!'....My mind was speakin' out somethin',' Is this some kinda jokes made up by idiots?'.....I asked him,'Where you heard this from?'...'Could it possibly be some typa stupid rumours or prank made by idiots?But doesnt it take too much to make this kinda topic as a joke or prank to be placed on?'...He answered but I found it not helpful at all as he said to me 'I dont know?'....It was sorta shocked me and I was so speechless at that time,so I hung up the call and tryna call someone to discuss about this topic,whether a truth or prank.....So,I gave a ring to soo aun,soo aun told me the same thin'.....And we chatted for quite long,I think...Hmm,maybe almost an hour....And the sky was gettin' brighter,I said 'Omg,it was already 4am here,and I think I'd better go to get a sleep or else would have been shoppin' without energy or self-created word 'energylessly'(maybe it exists in oxford dictionary,but I dont know...haha)?

And before I went to bed,I still was thinkin' of to give a call to my 'boyfriend',overtaken by mind and actions,fingers pressin' the numbers,and never seemed to need to browse thru the phonebook,already be in my mind....Haha...When i called him,he was awake,but unfornately,he gotta attend mr.teng's tuition class...So,just had a few words with him then he gotta get goin' and I gotta get to sleep.....

And few hours later,I was told that the news was true,Mr.ravidran was killed by robbers!!I can tell y' all that I really hate him,but I never dreamt that he will die before I have forgotten him...So,this news was kinda a shock for me.....Well,when this happened,I decided to erase every hatred I summoned in my heart towards mr.ravidran....I dont have to respect him because I never even took a step to disrespect him,and about his death,I really felt so sorry but I understood that he could just never resurrect even if people out there were griefin' for him...So,what I think is I shalln't talk anythin' bad about him...So,for those who hate him,just few words for you,' There is nothin' interestin' to talkin' bad about a man who is dead,whatever y' all might say,he would hear it although sorta spiritually beliefs,dont let him bring the bad words anyone might give him along his way to heaven,just let him rest in peace,that's what we should do!!!'